2 Months... and YOUR OUT!

Its time to come clean! --- I have this dating habit. Lets call it a dating curse. Maybe that's not the best word either, Dating Pattern... yeah.. that sounds better. ... "The Contender" is very aware of this dating uncertainty... ... In the past, I have dated a few good men... Some real catches, and some total losers... but the outcome seems to be the same! ... 2 months of dating... and I dissolve the relationship. I am done. No Remorse. I lose complete interest. I can totally disconnect. ... I am really trying to find out the reason for my madness. Do I do it for fear that they will dump me someday? Do it because things get too mundane? Do i really know that hes NOT the one? All those questions are probably right... I have only been dumped 2 times in my life. I have always done the dumping! Man, what is wrong with me! ... The Contender and I, have a continuing conversation, that 2 months down the road, I'm going to lose interest and break up with him. We are nearing that 2 month mark. June 25th .... ... In reality, I'm actually nervous, that my past is going to take over, and its going to happen with The Contender. I really enjoy his company. We have so much history.

(My sister actually makes a joke, that i am trying to steal her story, since her current fiance, she new 17 years ago, and that is the same with The contender and I... and we both use to work together... its quite funny.) No matter what the case may be, we have a lot of chemistry, and never stop laughing when we are together! Which is fantastic! ... I secretly think that he is a bit weary about it too... I think when someone makes a joke about something, something that is serious, it is a real concern! Someone once told me, "You joke about what you think about!" ... So, I am trying to keep positive energy, and thoughts. Not wanting to jinx this relationship... I am defiantly an over thinker. I analyze everything. I'm a woman for goodness sakes... Not trying to get in my own way! ... Sometimes i think that i don't deserve a relationship. Maybe that time come and gone, and I'm out of chances. That thought actually passes through my head. Maybe i need therapy! ha ha ha ... So... lets hope for some good luck, and positive thoughts, for The Contender and I.. that we can actually make it past 2 months.... That's all I'm hoping for right now... We make it past that, I can come up with a new goal! Don't want to delve too far to the future, one day at a time. (I'm kind of hoping he doesn't read my blog.)